Name: Amy Lockman
Oak Grove, MN

Name: Wanda Garland-Milne
Woodstock, Ontario, Canada

It’s true. Not all days can be “good” days.

I have taken a much needed respite this past week. I had a lot going on lately with getting the book off to the printer, starting my first Twin Cities Brain Injury Meetup, and trying to keep my businesses running (ie: pay the bills).

I do my very best to make sure I incorporate self-care into my daily routine, but sometimes I am so dang tired by the end of the day that I just don’t have the energy.

Which seems silly right?

Like, it should be important enough to “power through” it and get it done because I know it will help me. But I just can’t. If I have zero energy left, I literally have zero energy left.

I think that is what is SO hard for non brain injured folks to understand:
Our complete drainage of energy
Our apathy
Our inability to move forward once we hit our wall.

The average person can power through it and truck on until they get it done — us TBI’ers simply can’t.

Here’s my reality:
Sleep 8-10 hours (if i’m not suffering insomnia at the moment)
Wake up, make coffee, walk the dog
Work a few hours (if it’s a good day)
Nap 2-3 hours
Do a little more work
walk the dog, eat dinner
Go to bed.

On a good day, I can get about 4-5 hours of work done. On a really bad day, I may not be able to get out of bed — fortunately those days are far and few between for me now. But I do still struggle, and on those days I get maybe a few hours of work and that’s it. During the course of an entire day, I can only get 4-5 hours of work done!!

Now throw in cleaning the house, grocery shopping, and laundry — and I hit the wall even quicker!!

It’s painfully frustrating as a self-employed person. On the one hand I’m blessed with the fact I can choose to work when I want. On the other hand, there is no one else to do the work but me. If I don’t work, I don’t get paid. There is no disability insurance for the self-employed (well, there is, but it’s crazy expensive).

I realize I am blessed with patient clients, and the ability to finally function at a level that I can work (which took almost two years to get to).

Living and working with an invisible injury has it’s challenges. I do the best I can, and wake up every morning hoping it will be a good day!!

My self-care routine includes:
Yoga
Meditation
Walking in the fresh air
Essential Oils
Functional Neurology exercises
PT exercises
Baths

What do YOU do to help yourself with self-care??

We will be hosting our very first Brain Injury Meetup in the Twin Cities on Wednesday, October 19th!! Details below, along with a paypal link to register/pay. Registration is a MUST as we have limited space.

Join us for an evening of fun and education.
Brain Injury survivors, caregivers, and friends are all welcome!

WHERE: Kolap Restaurant — 601 Dale St N Saint Paul, MN 55103
owned by brain injury survivor, Stevena Pen

WHEN: Wednesday, October 19th 5:30-8:00pm

COST: $15 includes: dinner, door prizes, education, and FUN!! (register with the Paypal link below)

SCHEDULE:
5:00-5:45 social hour
5:45-6:30 dinner
6:30-6:45 Book Reading
6:45-7:30 Keynote Presentation
7:30-8:00 Book Signing & Social Time

KEYNOTE SPEAKER:
“Understanding the Vestibular System After Concussion & Brain Injury”

Dr. Jeremy Schmoe DC DACNB FABBIR

Dr. Schmoe is a Chiropractic Neurologist and owner of MFNC Brain Rehabilitation in Minneapolis. He specializes in the treatment of concussion and brain injury, and is an expert at helping patients improve their overall performance with innovative rehab strategies combining: body based exercises, vestibular, manual therapy, and brain based nutrition.

BOOK READING: 
“Life With a Traumatic Brain Injury: Finding the Road Back to Normal”

Amy Zellmer, award-winning author, speaker, and TBI survivor & advocate

Amy suffered a TBI after falling on the ice in 2014. She is a frequent contributor to the Huffington Post, and published her first book in 2015, which received a silver medal in the Midwest Book Awards. She travels the country with her Yorkie, Pixxie, in an effort to raise TBI awareness.

REGISTRATION:
please use the paypal link below to register. You may also pre-order a copy of Amy’s book, which you she will sign for you at the meetup. Registration is non-refundable, however, you may transfer it to another person.

Today I had a full neurological and vestibular exam with a Functional Neurologist, who proudly states that he is an expert in getting concussion patients back to living “normal” lives (or at least with as minimal dizzy, balance, and visual problems as possible).

His clinic is fully equipped with state-of-the art diagnostic equipment.  My initial exam lasted over two hours and was very comprehensive, he left no stone unturned in his exploration of my symptoms.

I am currently two and a half years out from my fall (if you’re unfamiliar with my story, I fell on the ice and landed on the back of my head, and was unconscious for at least several minutes). I have been to a Neurologist, Neuro Ophthalmologist, and Neuro Psychologist…. all of whom made me feel like I was crazy. NONE of them seemed interested in helping me, and two of them went so far as to say it was possibly psycho-semantic. I was begging for help, and they chose to ignore my pleas and politely showed me the door.

I am a smart, educated, savvy woman who has run two businesses for the past 20 years. I KNOW that I am NOT OK, that something is definitely wrong, that I am not the same person I was before my accident. To have DOCTORS brush me off and leave me feeling crazy, helpless, and alone was a major slap in the face. Finding functional neurology is incredibly validating….. he even pointed out that a few of the tests were impossible to fake (such as eye movement and reflexes).

I finally feel like I am going to get the rehab help I need to get back my life. I am tired of feeling like my eyes are aren’t working properly, and walking into doorways, and feeling like I just got off a boat. I am exhausted when I go to bed at night, and then have to deal with my eyes moving around inside my lids. It’s just too much, and to be continuously told that your symptoms aren’t real, or aren’t related to your brain injury is SO INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATING! 

Next week I will return to the clinic to receive a complete rehab program, and I honestly couldn’t be more excited to get started. I have been screaming for help for the past 2.5 years, and am SO fortunate to have found this doc (actually, I believe HE found ME, but hey, that works, too!!)

My advice to those of you reading this: YOU are your best advocate. If you think something is off/wrong, trust your feelings. Don’t give up. Find a new doctor. Reach out to others for advice. Don’t get discouraged, even though I realize that is easier said than done! Your brain can continue to heal YEARS after an injury, so don’t let anyone tell you differently!! Go forth and prosper, my fellow TBI friends!

…………………………………………………………………………………………………..

This past week I applied for a part time position to tutor students in grades K-3 and help them with their reading skills.

I thought it would be a good way to give back  to the local community while earning a little extra money. Since reading/writing have always been my strongest skill set, I thought it would be an easy fit.

Boy, was I wrong.

I was required to take an online assessment for math and english to determine if I would qualify. It was a timed series of multiple choice questions …. keep in mind this is for grades K-3……

I did fine with the basic math questions, but once I had to figure out the next number in a series of numbers, I froze. And then there was a series of questions like “round is to circle as box is to square” and then the words I had never even seen before ….. the Q’s were SO freaking hard.

By some grace of fate, I ‘passed’ the test by their standards.  I felt like a complete fraud. I guessed at a majority of the questions, but because I am a skilled multiple choice guesser, I was able to barely squeak by.

Two and a half years ago, I would have aced this test with flying colors. I likely would have gotten 100% without a single guessed answer. But of course, that was before my brain injury.

Because I am high-functioning…. I sometimes forget that I am still dealing with a variety of deficits. When you are put face-to-face with those deficits, it can be incredibly frustrating and overwhelming. This test brought to the forefront all those feelings I had been harboring and pushing deep into the abyss.

I am grateful for this test.

It has reminded me that I while I am getting better every day, I am still not completely recovered. It was a reminder to give myself grace. It also gave me a milemarker to remind me of how far I have come, even if it isn’t 100%. It forced me to face my emotions once again, and to confront them and learn from them.

If my experience can help another survivor get through a rough patch, it was completely worth the frustration, humiliation, and aggravation. It’s not all rainbows and unicorns in my life, but I am extremely thankful to still have a life worth living!

We are seeking brain injury survivors who would like to be a part of the book cover!!

The concept is approx. 25 small square images of survivor’s faces will be the primary focus of the book cover, and we need YOU!

We will be doing photoshoots in Saint Paul on:
Tuesday August 23rd 10:30am-3:30pm
Wednesday August 24th 3:30-8:30pm

Submissions are CLOSED!!! We have 90 contributors, and successfully raised production costs on Kickstarter! 

You will be asked to fill in your name, email address, and cellphone number. You will receive a confirmation email with the address and directions, as well as a reminder email and text the day before your session.

All participants will be required to sign a model release, and will receive a copy of the book when it is released.

Participants are asked to wear a black, or dark solid-colored shirt. Photos will be just head and shoulders, so nothing special is needed on the bottom.

Have you wanted to write your story and share it with the world? Here is your chance!

We are soliciting stories to be included in an anthology of TBI survivor  AND caregiver stories — and we need YOURS!

So brew some coffee, open your laptop, and stretch out those fingers. Submit your story, and yours may be one of the stories selected to be published!

Stories should be between 500-2000 words, and written as well as you are able, and should be interesting and evoke emotion. Don’t let your writing skills hold you back as an editorial team will help with grammar and clarity.

Consider these questions as you write:
* how and when did you acquire your brain injury?
* how long was your recovery?
* what are/have been your biggest obstacles?
* how do you want others to feel while reading your story?
* what message do you want to deliver to the world?
* how can your story help other survivors/caregivers in their recovery?

Need some inspiration? Read chapter one of my book on Huffington Post, or purchase your autographed copy here. Need more 1-on-1 support and guidance? Check out my TBI coaching package here.

To submit your story for consideration please fill out the online form: HERE.

FAQ’S:
Stories chosen for publication will receive a free copy of the book as well as an author kit with further instructions. There is no monetary compensation.

Stories need to be AT LEAST 500 words to be included in the book. An ideal number is 800-1200 words.

I suggest you type it out in a Word document and then copy/paste into the online submission form.

You must be willing to use your full (real) name if you wish to be published in the book.

You are writing this story to share with other survivors and caregivers…. so think of the message you want to relay to them (ie: inspiring, insightful, evoke hope, etc).

Submissions are CLOSED!!! We have 90 contributors, and successfully raised production costs on Kickstarter!